Much of the current thinking is grossly offensive to women. Being a straight woman who likes things that are classically "feminine" (makeup, dresses, babies, etc) is clearly considered to be bad right now, in the eyes of many. In my opinion, this is why so many girls and women are running away from it and are labeling themselves something different. Different is fetishized at the expense of the norm. There is nothing wrong with being a woman who likes makeup and who likes men and who wants to spend time with her babies. That is a good thing, just like it is a good thing to be a woman who is attracted to women. Or to be a woman who like men and wants to have a career and no babies. Or to be a woman who likes women and wants to spend time with her babies. In general, women need to accept that there are all different types of women (the vast majority being the traditional type who like men and who want to spend time with their family).
The fact that so many girls and women don't want to identify with being a woman is alarming. The way to address it is to send the message that it is just as good to be a traditional woman as it is to be a non-traditional woman.
I don't claim to be nonbinary. But, I don't like labels. When I felt some pressure to put pronouns, I felt rage at the thought of putting "she". It isn't because I want to be any other gender. It is because I attached being female to being told in church that females could not even teach little boys once the male child had been baptized. It was because I attached it to the excruciating pain I had with endometriosis. I attached it to being treated as a sex object by some males. I also don't understand identifying my gender at a conference. I feel like it shouldn't make a difference and if you are identifying, it is so that people can make assumptions about you. So, when I saw someone use the pronouns she / they, I felt immediate relief. I might need more therapy to deal with what I associate with being female, but I would rather just drop the identifying and be myself without worrying about it. From my experiences, I felt like being female was a punishment. I'm 49. I'm not the only one. One other idea I grew up with was females as submissive and males as aggressive. I don't think either is healthy. I think health is found in kind assertiveness. I just wanted to share my story because I don't think feminine is bad. I just associate being female with a lot of pain in my personal experience. Adding the "they" makes me feel free of some of that.
Thank you - this gives some insight into a young person I know who is “nonbinary”. I have known her since she was an infant; and she always seemed to be a normal girl. Her family is very religious and has rather rigid views on gender roles; so I assume the nonbinary thing was also inspired by a desire to annoy her parents. She’s in a relationship with a boy who grew his hair long and now identifies as a girl; so they can both claim queerness as an identity. They are both aspiring artists who are into the goth scene; so I guess they would be quite uncomfortable in their crowd if they were just a boring hetero couple.
Much of the current thinking is grossly offensive to women. Being a straight woman who likes things that are classically "feminine" (makeup, dresses, babies, etc) is clearly considered to be bad right now, in the eyes of many. In my opinion, this is why so many girls and women are running away from it and are labeling themselves something different. Different is fetishized at the expense of the norm. There is nothing wrong with being a woman who likes makeup and who likes men and who wants to spend time with her babies. That is a good thing, just like it is a good thing to be a woman who is attracted to women. Or to be a woman who like men and wants to have a career and no babies. Or to be a woman who likes women and wants to spend time with her babies. In general, women need to accept that there are all different types of women (the vast majority being the traditional type who like men and who want to spend time with their family).
The fact that so many girls and women don't want to identify with being a woman is alarming. The way to address it is to send the message that it is just as good to be a traditional woman as it is to be a non-traditional woman.
I don't claim to be nonbinary. But, I don't like labels. When I felt some pressure to put pronouns, I felt rage at the thought of putting "she". It isn't because I want to be any other gender. It is because I attached being female to being told in church that females could not even teach little boys once the male child had been baptized. It was because I attached it to the excruciating pain I had with endometriosis. I attached it to being treated as a sex object by some males. I also don't understand identifying my gender at a conference. I feel like it shouldn't make a difference and if you are identifying, it is so that people can make assumptions about you. So, when I saw someone use the pronouns she / they, I felt immediate relief. I might need more therapy to deal with what I associate with being female, but I would rather just drop the identifying and be myself without worrying about it. From my experiences, I felt like being female was a punishment. I'm 49. I'm not the only one. One other idea I grew up with was females as submissive and males as aggressive. I don't think either is healthy. I think health is found in kind assertiveness. I just wanted to share my story because I don't think feminine is bad. I just associate being female with a lot of pain in my personal experience. Adding the "they" makes me feel free of some of that.
Thank you - this gives some insight into a young person I know who is “nonbinary”. I have known her since she was an infant; and she always seemed to be a normal girl. Her family is very religious and has rather rigid views on gender roles; so I assume the nonbinary thing was also inspired by a desire to annoy her parents. She’s in a relationship with a boy who grew his hair long and now identifies as a girl; so they can both claim queerness as an identity. They are both aspiring artists who are into the goth scene; so I guess they would be quite uncomfortable in their crowd if they were just a boring hetero couple.